The very definition of a bad weekend...

Dear Don't-have-anything-better-to-do,

So, I've had an awful, terrible, disgustingly hurtful, no-good, horrible, very very bad weekend.

It all started on Friday night with the lack of an activity for me to join in. I honestly felt like doing something, and had nothing to do. No one was available, I was bored, and so I decided to spend some time with what has become my best friend lately: the internet. And I fell asleep in front of my computer. Not so bad, except for the massive kink in my neck when I woke up. I'd gladly take the old kink-in-the-neck after everything else that happened.

What really sucks is if I tell you exactly what happened last night, I'll end up a single man. Which, at this point, is almost inevitable anyway, so I may as well tell it.

This weekend is when I discovered that the lady in my life doesn't care about me any more. Now, usually, this is the part where one may turn "playa" and just move on. However, the older I get, the more it breaks my heart each time some other girl decides I'm too fat, or too loud, or too Puerto Rican, or not "hot" enough, or what have you. Whatever I am (or am not) is how I was (or wasn't) when you met me. When you got to know me. And when you all of the sudden started acting different because of things that have absolutely nothing to do with me.

My breaking point happened last night on Level 6 of a parking garage in Wilmington. I cried like a baby. It's just too much. Between the things I deal with concerning family, school, DJing, numerous internal conflicts, and insecurities, adding someone into your life is hard enough. And when you think you've found someone who fits well, everything gets better.

My whole world came crashing down over the course of two hours last night. The entire reason I went to Wilmington was to celebrate a 21st birthday, and to DD for my girlfriend, her best friend, and another person. I was looking forward to spending some time out for several reasons, not the least being that my girlfriend and I haven't been on a real date in quite some time. And we all know that I'm a city boy who loves Wilmington as opposed to Jville.

So, after going to a wedding to learn how the new company I work for wants it done...that was actually fun...I leave and come home to no power due to the storms. So, I get dressed and pack a small bag with one hand; the other was holding a flashlight. It took forever.

I finally get on the road to Wilmington, and get caught for an hour and a half in the traffic that ensued from the aftermath of the tornado that destroyed 25 homes and numerous businesses. (SN: Prayers are offered.) Finally get around it, and get to Wilmington around 12:40. Straightened up the Malibu for passengers, and texted my girlfriend to find out which club she was at so that I could hurry up and meet them and at least have a little fun.

12:44 a.m.: "Where you be?"

No answer.
1:03 a.m.: "Where are you?"

No answer.

I started to worry. She is a very attractive young lady. Believe me when I say, I thought the worst. I walked around for a little while, checking out the smoking areas of various clubs and did not see her. Worry level, blood pressure, and anxiety level is now at an all-time maximum. I started to see those little spots when your blood pressure gets too high, and decided the best thing to do was to go back to my car and try to breathe and relax, since I have hypertension and forgot to take my pill. I know, I know.

I get back to my car, check the time. 1:25 a.m. I called her, and got no answer. I hung up the phone, and had a very scary event happen at that moment.

I passed out.

I have heard about people with high blood pressure getting nosebleeds, having wierd pains, and/or passing out when the old BP gets too high. I never thought it would actually happen. But it did. And it was scary as hell when I woke up. I had no idea where I was, what was going on, or how long I had been out. I immediately picked up my phone, slid to unlock, and hit talk twice. Checking my call log later revealed that I was out for 5-7 minutes. Because I called her again at 1:33 a.m. Hearing her voicemail did snap me back into reality, though. I had some aspirin with me, so I chewed a couple into dust. I started feeling better in just a few minutes. Two more phone calls while I was sitting in my car playing solitaire on my phone, 1:51 a.m. and the final one at 2:03 a.m.

I decided that it would be smart to leave and go home. I'm glad I did, because it is now 5:00 p.m. on Sunday, and I still haven't heard from her. And to be honest, I don't think I will for at least another day. And she'll offer some sort of quick apology and never speak of it again...which is what she does when she screws up. And believe when I say, it has been happening quite often lately.
Okay, back to the story: I started my car, and burst into tears. Like, sobbing and sniveling like I was 7 years old and my parents had just used the belt on me for lying type of crying. I knew it was bad when later I recalled that I was actually rocking back and forth. Really? Who does that? I felt like a total...well...bitch. I tried to remember later why I was crying, and what I was thinking. Then I prayed for an answer, and it came.

"Unhinged." That was the word that was on skipping-record mode in my mind. Unhinged. As in, at that moment, I became completely and totally unhinged. I was already vulnerable because my girlfriend's been treating me like garbage lately for absolutely no reason. I have dealt with undeserved anger, being completely ignored, being told that she doesn't feel like being touched, watching her flirt with other guys in my face, her paying more attention to her (omitted colorful metaphor) phone than me, and hanging out with everyone else in the world but me. I actually had to watch another dude grab my girlfriend's ass in front of me, and her not say a damn word to him. She's apparently never even told this guy - that flirts with her on a daily basis - that her and I are dating. Really? Thanks for making me feel great about myself.

And you remember that "undeserved anger" I was talking about? It's also the reason I can't tell her any of this. Because she takes everything I say the wrong way, and gets angry with me in a NY minute - which is about as long as it takes you to read the period at the end of this sentence.
And...I just checked Facebook and she changed her relationship status to "single" and didn't say a damn thing to me. Won't answer my calls or texts. Which means that all my suspicions are now confirmed. That she did me dirty. Well, like Jay-Z says...on to the next, on, on to the next one. Maybe.