Thankfulness...

So, I was looking through my old blogs and realized that I pretty much use it for a sounding board when I'm pissed about a major life event.

That's a bad thing.

Considering I realize how blessed I am and how truly great life can be, I think it's time for me to actually write something like that. Major life event: Thanksgiving 2012. I missed all opportunities to pray with others because I was running on CPT. (That's Colored People Time for those who don't know, and it means to run late.) Therefore, I took some time to pray by myself, and realized that I need to mention a few things that I'm thankful for, and some people.

First and foremost, I am thankful for my family. Anyone who know Moms knows she is a nut, and that usually continues with the time I spend with her. We have developed a special relationship that is fantastic, and I'm grateful for that. My brother is awesome, my sister is still my baby sister, and Steppops is a trip. My grandparents are still the best people I know, and I can't be thankful for them enough. Then I have a whole OTHER side to the family! Dad, stepmoms, some stepsiblings, and they're great too. If I could just teach my Dad to use REGULAR time, not military time, and stop stealing everything I put on my plate and all my drinks, then I would consider him housebroken. I know this whole paragraph is cliche, but whatever. It's my blog and I can write whatever I want. Ha. Ha.

I am thankful for a great job with a very understanding person at the helm. And I'm not brown-nosing, because he won't even read this. Guaranteed.

To my favorite banger-that-rides-a-bike: you keep me intelligent, sane, and on my toes. Thankful for that and so much more, but we're men and I'm not gonna talk about it. Loyalty is hard to find, and I'm glad it's mutual. You, sir, will always have my friendship.

To the rhythm-making professor: Read above, apply to you.

To the good Doctor: I will sit at that crappy place with you and drink that crappy coffee almost anytime. Almost. Because that's what we do.

To my favorite pastor: Words cannot express how much you truly mean to me, and how I thank God every day for bringing you into my life. I hope that as life goes on, I can learn to be as generous, kind, intelligent, and warm as you are to everyone you know, and I love you. Or, as you like to say, "I got nuttin' but love for you!"

To my favorite snowstorm: You don't know this, and you'll more-than-likely never read it, but there is something that needs to be said. You reminded me that there are drop-dead gorgeous women in this world that have a good heat. You are the very definition of the word "kind," and I consider myself blessed to know you.

Hey codsack: Lersh Be Furnds. And I am so very thankful we are. I look forward to continuing to grow closer as friends and for being there when you need me, as you are for me.

To the entire chapter of Eastern Carolina Untzheadz - Damn, I absolutely love being friends with you guys, and we can have a kiki anytime. I'm thankful that no matter what, when we get together, it's always fun, silly, great, and meaningful all at the same time. (This includes the following DJ's - Johnny Drago, J-Love, Hottie, Cancel, and BrickHouse.)

And to all of my cousins: I have an individual relationship with each one of you, and I am thankful for it. I love you all with everything I can, and even though we don't get to spend that much time together, know that I cherish every moment we do spend. And I mean this for each of you.

There are a few other people that belong here, but I have told them this so many times that I honestly feel it goes without saying. They know I'm thankful for them, and I got stuff to do.

Oh, and in no particular order, I'm also thankful for Netflix, Redbox, my car, BPM and Electric Area, Walgreens, deodorant, my bird Ferry, badonkadonks, all the teachers in the spanish department at Coastal, college in general, coffee, smartphones, women with cute butts, and so many more things.

See? I can talk about nice things!

V

The interrupting cow(s)...

I haven't written a blog in about 18 months. In English, that is. Time to do this one mo'gain. And I hate to say it, but it's not going to be nice...I need to vent. Why?

Because no one listens.

It is ridiculous how many people use me for a sounding board. I seem to be a confidant for everyone I know. Usually, I'm okay with that. It means people trust me enough to tell me intimate things about themselves and know that I will never say a word.

For the past few months this has slowly been becoming unacceptable. It has dawned on me that I know a bunch of self-centered, self-absorbed, selfish assholes. People who talk about absolutely nothing but themselves and their problems and the solutions to their problems and things they have to deal with and so on. You get the idea.

The other day, for the first time in two or three weeks, I had someone ask me, genuinely, how I am doing. I actually had to stop and think about it, because it's been so long since someone showed genuine concern for my well-being. Truth is, pretty shitty... and it really took me a moment to figure that out!

I wish I could just write about "Oh, I can't find a girl that I like" or "Dating sucks" - but I haven't been trying to do that lately. Stepping away from that whole thing, I decided I was just going to hang out with some females because, let's face facts, I get along better with girls.

I got stood up, cancelled on, rainchecked, and just plain told no more than if I was trying to date someone. 

Wow.

So, on to the guy friends. I honestly never knew that vagina was that important to people with penises. I also didn't know that it is no longer commonplace to just hang out with the guys...like a guys' night or something.

So I started really paying attention to things around me. When I am asked a question of a nature that has to do with my life, it is amazing how many people interrupt me to let me know that they already know because they either have dealt or are currently dealing with the same thing, or it's so much worse for them than it is for me, or how their friend is going through the same thing, or ..... wait a sec. (here comes the rant)

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

How about you actually be a friend and listen to other people? When you need someone to listen to you, or watch you cry, or let you USE THE FUCK OUT OF ME, I don't say a word. I let you do what you need to do. But when *I* got some some shit going on, you can't shut the fuck up and let me vent? You know why I never cry?

BECAUSE MOTHERFUCKERS LIKE YOU NEVER LET ME GET THAT FAR! 

Instead, I am relegated to spending all this time alone without ONE DAMN PERSON who will listen. When you call yourself a friend to someone, THAT'S YOUR FUCKING JOB. 

BE THERE.

 You got one damn job as a friend. I don't want money, I don't want a ride, I don't want a cigarette, I don't want ANYTHING but your friendship and your ear. NOT YOUR MOUTH. So once again, with conviction, I say:

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP. and listen.

I give/loan money if one needs it and I have it. I have and will go out of my way to get one where they need to be if it's feasible. And usually, I'M the one who always has cigarettes and ends up broke from giving them to other people. I always seem to have great advice, and always seem to end up paying for the meal or the coffee. 

But when I have some internal conflict and feel hurt in some way, why the FUCK do others ALWAYS feel the need to interrupt me and talk about themselves? If you can answer this, you know how to contact me. It honestly is a general question.

Sorry about all the expletives. (Not really. I'm not here to appease others.)

V

Postscript - There are a few people that this doesn't apply to. Please take a moment to wonder if it's you.