Hi, my name is Vinny, and I hate myself.

There are some things that have been running through my head for a long while now, and most folks seem entertained by what runs through my head. This may be informative, then again, it might not be. Some people don't seem to get it. So, let me get started on what I feel like saying. Chances are some of this is going to get me in trouble...but I'm okay with that. Otherwise, I wouldn't write it and make it public knowledge.


First, no one picks up the phone any more...they text. I've even caught myself doing it. I really don't like that. If I call you, it's because I want to hear your voice and/or I want you to hear mine. I don't want to have to figure out how to place inflection on what I'm typing. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things, this is probably completely unimportant. But, it needs to be said, and it's my blog, and I can say whatever I damn well please.


Second, I do not conduct business on Facebook. Yeah, the whole world uses social media for blah blah blah, and I might ruin chances of making money because blahblahblah.


I don't give a rat's ass.


Facebook is my personal life. If I post something about where I'm DJing, it's not business. It may seem like it, but the truth is, I'm giving you another option of something to do, and telling you where I'm going to be. You know, in case you haven't seen me in a while and want to. Or just so you don't have to go to a place with another crappy DJ. You could come see THIS crappy DJ! I have a business page, and I use it for – you guessed it – BUSINESS!!!!! What I say or do on Facebook, Twitter, or any other social media platform is my personal life, and will be treated as such. I have an email address. That's what it's for. Therefore, if you send me a message on Facebook about a price quote, a charity event, or anything having to do with business, it will go unanswered, or I will send you a little nastygram back. Facebook = personal life. Get it? This goes DOUBLY for people constantly asking me to like their business, or strings of businesses, or whatever. (It's actually reason number one why I wrote this section.) This is a last warning before removing your ass altogether. I don't care who you are, or what you think. PERIOD. (That means it's not up for discussion, so don't bring it up.)


Next, in case you hadn't noticed, my name is spelled V-I-N-N-Y. If you can't get that right, then find something else to call me. A nickname, shorten it up, full name, last name, whatever. I'll even answer to “asshole” if you want, just stop misspelling my name. And while we're on the subject of names... 

My last name is “Gonzalez” - not Smith, Jones, or some other Caucasian-based variety. Prepare to be shocked: I am not white. I may “look white,” I may even “sound white” to some of you, but rest assured, I am not. And this isn't a race thing, because I love white people. So when you make your little racist jokes and I hear them and chuckle a little, it's a nervous laugh. Because I DON'T LIKE THAT SHIT. When you say things about my heritage, it rattles me to the very core. Puerto Ricans are very proud of our heritage – like all Hispanics  WE don't think it's funny when you call us something else facetiously. You might think it's funny to make jokes and push the issue of whatever-the-hell you feel like saying about my ethnic origin – I'm telling you it's not funny, and I'm not going to stand for it any more. So shut your mouth before you even think of opening it. 


Next, and please prepare yourself...chances are, you are not my friend. You might even be reading this and thinking, “Well, this part isn't for me.” 

Ha ha. That's what you think. 

Have I called you and told you about a serious problem I'm having, and ask you if we can just hang out because I need a friend? Have you asked this of me? I probably dropped everything and came running, right? Now, ask yourself this – would you have done the same for me? Did you do the same for me? Yeah, that's right. That shit just hit you, didn't it? That time I called you, didn't leave a voicemail, and you didn't pick up the phone and didn't call back at your earliest convenience? That was the point when you let me know that you weren't really my friend – but were damn sure willing to say I was yours. Jesus said turn the other cheek, he didn't say that I had to be in the room for you to strike me in the first place. And believe me, there are quite a few people that I allowed to strike me more than once.


Everything that was written up to this point needs no opinion – it's simply a statement of fact or feeling – neither of which requires your thought pattern. If it pisses you off, you probably should have thought about that in the first place. I really thought I was done with childish bullshit at one point before, but I realize that as long as I allow childish people to act childish in my presence, I am bringing it upon myself. I acknowledge that I have, in fact, allowed people to lie to me, manipulate me, and make me do things that I really don't want to do. I drop everything to bend over backwards and walk through fire to be lied to, or misled. I don't want to allow this to happen to me anymore. Therefore, I am resolving myself to no longer allow it. It has come time for me to allow my type-A personality to show through in all aspects of my life. I'm not happy with MYSELF as a result of all the bullshit I have put up with. It dawned on me today that I have hated myself since I was about 10 years old – and that little ditty came up without me even thinking about it. I just said it out loud while I was talking to my mother. I spent the next few hours really mulling over that little brain ninja, and that was some serious reflection time. I hate myself. I have for about 25 years now. Is there a support group for that?


Hi, my name is Vinny, and I hate myself.


So, if you're not happy with yourself, change it, right?



I sincerely wish you the best in discovering which part of this applies to you, if at all. Because if that's all you're thinking about, then you just missed the fact that I – *publicly* – admitted that the entire time you have known me, I have hated myself. And you're worried about you, right? GTFOH. Seriously.